5 Rules that Should Be Included in Every RPG
Some role-playing games have a lot of rules. Like, A LOT of rules, and hundreds of source
books to add even more rules, and then errata to fix it when the new rules mess
up the original rules. On the other hand
some role-playing games are very rules-light, where the only real instruction
from the writers and designers is “make it up,” to which I respond: Then why
the f*ck am I paying you for this game? Making shit up is your job.
No matter what volume of rules is included within those
mysterious, ancient covers, there are a few that should be
included in every gaming book ever produced.
And no, it
isn’t “HAVE FUN.”
I will freely admit that this post is very much stolen
inspired by 5
Crucial Rules of Every Game (Not Found in the Rulebook) by Chris Bucholz at Cracked.com, but I’m taking this
in a completely different direction. The
illustrious Mr Bucholz primarily focused on sports (you know, those
athleticy-kinda things where they hit balls with sticks and what-not) and
classic card and board games, like poker and Monopoly. He didn't dare touch RPGs, which I will now
dive into with unrestrained abandon.
5. Do-Overs
We’ve all been there.
We fought our way through the deepest levels of some mysterious dungeon,
through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, fighting our way to the castle
beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that was stolen by a macho rock
star. We know the Big Bad and all the
rewards and the climax of the campaign are just beyond that final door, with
weeks or months of game time all building toward this exact moment… and then
one of the characters fails a saving throw and gets killed by a mold.
First of all, that’s a pretty mean GM that would put a trap
like that right there (10 points to you, sir!).
You can rationalize it because it is supposed to be dangerous and
difficult to reach that point, except… what do you do now? You’re suddenly short a character heading
into the big encounter the entire campaign has been building towards. That character was an integral part of the
close-knit team that got this far. That
character may have powers or abilities critical to facing the final
battle. Worse, the player who just got
shafted now has to sit out the Final Dance, unless they roll-up a new character
and throw them into the mix, which is just a terrible idea on so many levels.
Hello, my good fellow.
My name is Gam Samgee. I know your last
companion was just killed by that ginormous spider, but I will help you finish
your quest carrying that gold ring-thingie up this hill!
So do you do-over?
Does the GM secretly fudge some rolls behind the screen? Does the game come to a screeching halt? There could be quite a bit of argument over
this situation, so everything would be a hell of a lot easier if Mike Mearls or
Kevin Siembieda was so kind to write into the book: “You know what? In this
situation, just fuck the rules. Do it
again.”
4. Gambling
In a game with a huge element of chance and dice flying all
over the table, there is a terribly disappointing lack of gambling in the
average RPG. I don’t mean “bidding”
mechanics, where you wager in-game resources to gain some advantage. I mean people saying “I bet you five bucks
you can’t make this saving throw.”
Imagine how much better D&D would be if your team mates were making
wagers on whether or not you make a critical hit? The life or death of your imaginary character
is nothing compared to whether you lose or make an extra $20. It raises the stakes, and thus the tension and suspense, a hundred fold. Hell, if spectators could bet on the outcome
of encounters and adventures (“The party just ran afoul of a pack of owlbears –
I bet $10 on the owlbears!”), role-playing games could become a
nationally-televised sport.
If darts, snooker and
NASCAR are “sports,” then go to hell, D&D is a sport, too.
If D&D Next doesn't include odds and payout tables for
wagering on the amount of damage your magic
missile spell inflicts, I’m going to be seriously pissed.
3. Arguing the Rules
Arguments in role-playing games are about as common as
Cheetos stains on character sheets and minis with bases sticky from spilled
Mountain Dew. That is to say, they are
ever-present. If you claim that you have
ever played a single session of any game where there wasn't a least a minor
disagreement or argument over the rules or a GM’s call then you, Sir, are a
liar. RPG instruction manuals should
read “Requires dice, pencils, friends and an argumentative personality to
play.”
Every game manual that I've ever read says that in the event
of an argument, the game master’s decision will stand, and “further discussion
will be made after the game.” The
problem with this half-assed rule is that 1) Ninety-nine percent of the time,
the argument is WITH the game master, so telling them they’re always right
really doesn't help anything, and 2) It doesn't tell you how to actually
resolve the argument. Having your
character die because of a weird interaction of rules is not going to be helped
by arguing about it after the game is over.
That shit needs to be dealt with, and you’re going to want satisfaction.
I propose putting rules for arguing about rules right into
the game. There should be rounds and
initiative checks to determine which player or DM makes the first argument. The other players should score each side
based on their logic, rules knowledge and vindictiveness. In the case where all else fails, each side
should roll a d20, modified by various factors (owning the house you’re playing
in would give you a huge bonus, as would going on snack runs) to determine the
ultimate victor.
We ain't savages, people.
There are better ways to resolve our differences.
2. Timeouts and Time-Ins
If you’re playing street hockey when an SUV rumbles down the
street, you yell “CAR!”, move the net out of the way, and pause play until the
speeding metal death machine safely passes.
Sally didn't heed this
unwritten rule, and to this day now lives with a VW logo embedded in her
forehead.
But what do you do if one of your players needs to go to the
bathroom in the middle of an encounter?
Do you tell them to suck it up and hope they don’t soil themselves on
your davenport? Do you make everyone
wear a diaper to avoid this situation?
Do you pause the game like civilized adults and wait for them to come
back? Or do you keep playing, and the
guy will just have to evacuate his bowels as quickly as possible so his
character doesn't die while he’s on the toilet?
What I am saying is that there should be codified rules and etiquette
to handle these situations, because everyone has different requirements and
limits as to “what’s an acceptable reason to stop the game.” I once played in a session that ran something
like 18-20 hours straight. Only the DM, myself
and one other player made it the whole way through, and by the end of it I was
delirious and hallucinating. The other
four players had to take at least one nap each to get them through the
night. One guy fell asleep with his face
right on the table. I think he woke up
with a d20 stuck to his cheek. But the game just kept going whether you were
upright or passed out on the couch. I don’t know what the DM was on but he did
not take a break or a time-out for anything.
1. How Much Wrestling is Too Much Wrestling?
I don’t mean Pro-Wrestling. You can never
have too much pro-wrestling
in RPGs. I am referring of course to physically throwing down
with your fellow players or game masters.
This is for those times when rule #3 (see arguing, above),
just doesn't cut it. Sometimes, you just
need to smack a guy in the face for being a dick. Sometimes you need to put him into a rear
naked choke. Dude touched your dice?
That’s worth at least a side headlock.
There really needs to be clear, decisive instructions for
how to handle this. Imagine if the
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 2nd Edition Player’s Handbook
clearly stated, on page 10: “If another player fumbles a to-hit roll and his
character shoots your character in the back with a crossbow, it is perfectly
acceptable to punch him in the kidney. Only one (1) single, closed fist blow is
permitted. Additional strikes or attacks
to other parts of the body is strictly prohibited unless said fumbled attack
results in the death of your character, in which case a swift punch to the
throat is also allowed.” You would never have to decide whether it was
acceptable or not to punch your friend for being a git! It was spelled out in black and white, right
there in the rules. Your buddy wouldn't
be able to complain about it, either!
Imagine how civilized our gaming sessions would be.
So what do you think of these rules? Yay?
Nay? Any others I missed? Talk about them below or on Twitter (follow
me @CDGallantKing), and pass
the questions around to your friends with those handy little “Share” buttons
below. Maybe we can start our own little rules argument in cyberspace…
#5 Ew, no. No do-overs. I think I can live with rules that are similar in function -- like 5e's Advantage that lets you roll two dice and take the better of the two. Do-overs waste time -- it can take some players long enough to roll the dice once, now double that time while they "warm up the dice" for a second roll -- but it also perpetuates the idea that "the dice don't matter," or that they're only there to be ignored or overridden.
ReplyDeleteIt's fine if you want to ignore the dice when they disrupt the story, but a player's first instinct should be to go WITH the outcome of the dice, not IGNORE them simply because they don't provide the player with a favorable outcome. Do-overs encourage players to ignore dice when they don't feel like using their imagination.
Do-overs also pander to "poor sports," who think RPGs can/should be "won."
--Dither
What if the die falls of the table, gets swallowed by the cat and then hacked up again in a hairball? Is that worth a do-over, or do you the dice fall where they may and count it?
DeleteOr what if you spend hours fighting a monster and getting your ass kicked, only for the DM to eventually realize he was reading the wrong stat block and using the stats for "Hastur" instead of "halfling?"
How about if a party member goes rogue and attacks the rest of the group, slaughtering everyone in three combat rounds because he lied about his THAC0?
Sometimes you just gotta say "Okay maybe we f*cked up and need to try that again."
Huh, the site didn't notify me of a reply though I checked the box.
DeleteI see your point. I do. It's just... I don't know if it's necessarily worth the rulespace to cite exceptions and caveats, y'know? Some of the big ones like what makes it into a FAQ -- I think getting the big stuff right is hard enough that devoting space to fixing flubs might best be left to individual groups and common sense.
However uncommon sense may be... Also, if you put those rerolls and stuff in the rules themselves, players have a tendency to work them into their strategy. That rogue party member you mentioned above? Well, what if he lied about his force-attacker-to-reroll ability, and was "theoretically untouchable?"
I also stand on my point about re-roll rules pandering to poor sports. I've seen multiple players (poor sports) build their PCs around re-rolls and do-overs.
--Dither
Bet ya $5 D&D Next doesn't have gambling...
ReplyDeleteI will take that bet if the odds payout at least 5 to 1.
Delete